Let’s discuss about Parental Pride that is, if parents‘ pride is really about their children or whether it is an ego issue.
Hey! Let’s get real for a moment. Parenting is crazy, right? One minute you’re struggling to survive the day, and the next, you’re beaming with pride because your child finally tied their shoes or scored an A on a test. It’s totally okay to be proud but have you ever paused and thought about why? Is that pride actually about your child, or about how you see yourself?
Honestly, sometimes I think we’re being a bit pretentious. And that’s alright that’s what it means to be human, right? But at other times, we may need to ask ourselves if that pride is serving us or if it’s simply a way of making ourselves feel good.
Let’s take a good hard look at this. Are we parents proud because we must celebrate our children’s accomplishments? Or is it also to make ourselves appear good? Maybe a little bit of both? Sit back with a cup of coffee, and let’s discuss.
The Upside of Parental Pride
Let’s just admit this first, it’s only natural to be proud of your child. It shows that you care and are involved. It’s also a human instinct to want our loved ones to do well. When your child succeeds, you feel good, relieved, or even confident that you’re doing something correctly.
Additionally, talking about your child’s successes can allow you to connect with other parents, form new friendships, or just brag a bit about your child’s new success. And that’s alright! It’s only natural for us to wish to share good news.
But here’s the thing, sometimes that pride can be a little off, and that’s where things get interesting.
When Pride Becomes Showing Off
Have you ever found yourself going on and on about your child? Or are you the parent who always seems to have the most up-to-date information on your child’s great achievement? Honestly, I’ve been guilty of that. It’s difficult not to get into the “look what my child did” mindset because it does feel good too.
That’s where it gets complicated. When does having fun become bragging? And is it acceptable to think that sometimes our pride is all about appearing good?
Think about it: We put up lots of pictures of our kids on social media, sharing their achievements, and waiting for comment or “likes.” Maybe even approval. “Hey! I’m a proud parent!” It’s almost as if we’re attempting to prove something to ourselves and also in the eyes of others.
It’s as if we need other people to approve of us, right? Like, “Look what my child did! Don’t I have a good kid?” This is not always bad but it can be wrong if we only focus on ourselves and not on the kid’s real happiness or growth.
The Ego Trap: How Our Pride Can Be About Us
Let’s be real, We all need to feel like we are doing something correctly. Parenting is difficult, and sometimes our ego hangs in the balance of how our kids turn out. If they do well, it feels like validation of how we parent. If they do poorly, we wonder if we are somehow doing something wrong.
It is so easy to forget that children are not trophies or mere extensions of us. They are individuals, with their own achievements, shortcomings, and aspirations. Yet far too many of us still see their success as a way to prove how we are.
Think about it , if your kid wins an award, are you proud of yourself for doing a good job raising them or proud of them? Sometimes you can’t honestly tell.
That’s where ego enters the picture. And honestly, it’s a pretty common issue. We need to be seen as good parents, good people, or even successful in our own right, and our children’s successes can appear to be a means of fulfilling that need.
The Pressure to Perform and What It Does to Us
A second consideration is the amount of social pressure our pride receives. We’re a culture that loves to link worth and achievement. So when our children succeed academically, athletically, or in their relationships, we feel like we’ve also “won.”.
People like to think that if our children are okay, then we must be good parents. If they are not, then maybe we think we are doing something wrong. This kind of thinking can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and guilt.
Our pride is like a mirror that shows us how we believe other individuals consider us. We can be ashamed if our child fails, or very proud if they do well. In both cases, it’s a matter of other people’s opinion, and not necessarily bragging about how far our child has reached.
What is Healthy Pride?
If some of our pride is ego and approval, then how do we remain true to ourselves? The key is to honor the child and not our own ego.
Healthy pride is saying, “Wow, I’m so proud of you,” because you’re genuinely in awe of how hard they work or how resilient they are. It’s in watching them develop, not necessarily in their achievement. It’s also knowing that what they accomplish doesn’t define you as a parent or as an individual.
It’s okay to brag and feel proud but just consider why you’re doing it. Are you celebrating your child’s dedication? Or seeking validation or seeking to improve how others view you?
Here is a good rule of thumb to follow:
- Ask yourself: Am I proud of my child, or am I proud of myself? If it’s the latter, perhaps it’s time to shift your thoughts and try to help them be themselves rather than simply bragging.
The Balance Between Pride and Ego
Parenting is all about balance. It’s only natural to feel proud and want to relive those special moments. But it’s also important to stay humble and remember that our children are their own individuals.
Some ways to keep that balance:
- Celebrate simply: Oftentimes, simply celebrating with your child is sufficient. You do not need to notify the world about every accomplishment.
- Praise their effort: Appreciation for their effort and character, not the result.
- Be honest with yourself: Think about it , are you posting because you care, or because you need attention?
- Make them independent: Support them in discovering their own passions and achievements, not necessarily what makes you appear great. In that way, we can ensure that pride does not become a race but rather a true celebration of our children’s journey.
Are We Just Showing Off?
Honestly, it’s a mix of good and bad.
Yes, sometimes we feel proud to make ourselves look better instead of celebrating our kids. But that doesn’t mean all pride is bad. It’s normal to feel proud and want to share our joy. The trick is to be aware of why we do what we do and to remember that our children are not here for our pride. They are individuals with their own past. When we celebrate their victories with sincere love and support, it is about them — not us.
So next time you feel like boasting or sharing that joyous moment, ask yourself this:
Am I praising my child’s achievement, or am I inflating my own ego?
If it’s the latter, try to take a step back and simply enjoy the moment quietly and honestly.
Parenting does not require perfection. It requires presence, mistakes, and learning along the way. Sometimes this means knowing when our pride is for us and when it is for our children.
Finally, the best pride is the kind that allows our children to grow as individuals in their own right not just mirror images of ourselves on the internet.
Thank you for sitting with me and discussing this. Parenting is a mess, not a perfection, and sometimes difficult to understand but it can also be pretty amazing. Just keep loving, supporting, and maybe, just maybe, try being a little aware of what is truly behind that pride.
